~Eyes and Ears Wide Open~

Family

2009-06-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

Family is something that is undeniably important. I took me 9 weeks of separation in order for me to appreciate them. It's quite sad to admit, but the good thing is that I learned my lesson. There are people still out there that do not associate with their family at all. I admit... I was one of them at one point, but not anymore. My relationship with my mother was terrible and on the rocks, but now its unbelievably strong. I hope it continues this way for good.

You can have all the best friends in the world, but your family is your family. You're born into this chaotic or pleasant environment. The way you are today is partially your family's doing, but there are other factors too. The point is that your family is a valuable element in your life and it shouldn't be taken for granted. =D

- Mikey

I'm A Big Kid Now...

2009-03-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

As I'm laying here in my small hotel room, laying down on my fancy sleep comfort bed that they provide thoughts rush to my head like bombs being dropped in Iraq. My thoughts mostly consist of growing up and who I've become now. When you think that you're absolutely ready for the adult world and ready to jump out of the nest and fly.... you begin to doubt yourself. Am I really for the world... will i completely fail... I'm going to fall flat on my face.. definitely not going to sore. I can't help it that those thoughts are runnimg through my head... I am human. I find it quite humorous when I think about it a little more. It kind of applies to the rule, "you don't know what you have until it's gone." But it's more like, "you think you're ready until it happens." I guess it's associates with you are the creator of your own path. It's the time Mike to create this extraordinary path. Life is full of ups and downs, but its the getting ups that make you a better individual. So I will see you guys later in a couple of months.

- Mike

~~Life The Word~~

2009-03-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

"Life" the word truly defines itself. There's not much explanation for it, it's just the way it is kind of thing. When you feel as though you are sinking in the great below some mysterious light shines throw and captures a tread of hope. These such events are the reasons why life can't really be explained, but it's just the way it is, if that makes any sense? As a typical human-being I wish everything thing would go my way, but living life like that is no fun. You receive no lessons or experiences from it and eventually it will come back to you and you will definitely sink rock bottom because you have no idea how to get the hell up. It maybe a little harsh, but it's realistic in every aspect. Life... what a wonderful thing despite if you think otherwise and if you don't agree you should definitely see a therapist. It absolutely confuses me when people don't think life is worth it all. I have to admit I thought about life isn't worth it all, but coming to my conclusions everyone is meant to do something in this world. We are destined to effect people and map others destinies, but ending your life also fucks someone else's life. You are not only creating a path for yourself, but for others. It's a selfish thing to take your life because you must think about those you will effect. If you think about it, if you killed yourself you are killing others that love and admire you. They may not be killed physically, but definitely mentally. We are all worth life despite what you may think at the moment in time. Live life to the fullest and make memories memorable.

Signing out...

Mike

The Undefinable

2009-03-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

As I lie dormant in my room full of thoughts and premonition. Filling this atmosphere with a thick cloud of tension hovering over of what used to be a sanitary, a haven. These misdefining thoughts absorb every mental strength in order to process them. All I want is to find this unknown feeling. What is the cause? What is the effect? What will it foresee? Analyzing it like some scientist rather than obtaining or dealing with it. Just go with the flow, you tell yourself. You do the complete opposite though. It isn't part of your character to simply go with the flow. Am I some complete idiot, a free spirited soul or something? The answer is no... I'm an analytical individual which must find the source or excuse for everything. The word is "love" which you are searching for, it's not defined with anything. It cannot be explained or analyzed. It lingers around the minds of many, but is never a nuisance. There is no source or origin where "love" originates from. "Love" catches you when you least expect it, when your at your most vulnerable state of mind. "Love" is simple "love" and that's just the way it is.

~~Prayers~~

2009-03-11T01:58:00.000-07:00

This was a journal entry I wrote awhile back in November called Prayers:

For the first time in over four years I stepped foot inside a catholic church. In someways I felt awkward because of the whole fact that most catholics are hardcore religious and very conservative with their views. I'm the polar opposite of that, but at the same time I felt good being inside that church. As I knelled down to pray I felt a sudden rush of emotions. In the process of praying I began to cry because the overwhelming emotions rushing through my body. It felt empowering, but also vulnerable at the same time. All my guards were down and my soul was open. I never felt like that before or at least in a longtime, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I didn't like that feeling. I hope to continue down this path ahead of me. From the looks of it, it looks much happier than my past roads behind me. Despite all the wrong choices I've made in my life I feel as though they lead me to this path of righteousness and hope.